Growing up, my parents brought us to church off and on. We generally went to church about 75% of the sundays each year, and wednesday night religion class about half the time. We started as catholics, then became lutherans, then baptists through different moves around the country.

I had always known I didn't believe this stuff but I still tried to. I think the reason I never cared much about going to church was because of how little I believed it as a child. One day when I was 17 or 18 I finally decided I was going to say it "I don't believe in God". So as usual, I'm laying in bed on sunday morning hoping my mom won't come wake me for church. Sure enough she peeks in and says "Get up, we're going to church" "No, I don't want to go" I said. She said something like "Too bad kiddo, lets go"... As usual. So I said "No, seriously, I'm not going. In fact I don't want to go anymore ever." This got her attention. She came into my room and said "Why?" I said "Because I don't even believe in Christianity anyways" "What!?" she said.

After explaining it to her more, she began to cry. She couldn't believe that her son had fallen away from God. She cried some more and finally decided that she was going to make me come with her and talk to the pastor. So, feeling bad that I hurt her somehow, I agreed to go. My Mom began to cry again after the mass, and talked to the youth pastor about me. "Now I'm in Trouble" I thought... I had to go into a room alone with the youth pastor to talk it over.

The youth pastor was somewhat cool about it surprisingly. He told me his story, as boring and cliche as it was, and then asked why I didn't believe. I proceeded to tell him that the whole thing simply didn't make sense, and was too unbelieveable. After that he basically said he didn't think there was much he could say to me to change my mind, and that he hoped I would find God in my own way one day.

That was the last day I ever went to church

You sound like you had a cool and laid back youth pastor. It's funny how the clergy can often be the most accepting about loss of faith. I've found man of them have very atheist/agnostic views about faith themselves but that they believe faith, in itself, is a redeeming quality. That concept seems a bit odd to me. Perhaps it's an "ends justifies the means" approach.

That is a really interesting story. I think it's a bit funny that your parents 'changed' religions when you moved, and didn't somehow see that this could set a person up for believing that the whole system was more than a bit arbitrary.

It's really nice that you were attending a church at the time where the youth pastor could let you go. No doubt a lot of the people there had the same feelings you did.

Thanks for sharing your story!

Love your story. Anyone else get physically sick when they are in a church? Growing up I would always get this nauseous feeling, and a feeling of dread. I still get it when I find myself at a wedding or funeral. I don't know what it is, or if it's psychological or not LOL

I used to get sick when I was in church, and one time in high school I had a panic attack that was very bad, and I had to leave. I was about 17, and my HS boyfriend's mom was very religious and the organist for the catholic church in town. (She had 5 boys who all turned out to be atheists, or at least non-believers, so go figure.) I was sitting there and looking at all of the art, and some of it was beautiful, but I felt it was also crazy. The more I thought about how crazy it all was, the harder it was to breathe, and I started to freak out. When they passed the collection plate, the heavy, cold feel of it freaked me out. I had to leave, and I think his mom was very upset.

Now, not a problem. Since I assist people with disabilities, that includes assisting them should they choose to participate in religious services, so I've been to every kind of church and I've seen everything. I was a bit nervous to go to a pentecostal church, but it turned out fine. Everyone at church is always so nice because they think you are fresh blood for them, so that helps ease tension. I used to just smile and tell them I was working.

Wow, you had an actual panic attack! I've never had anything that severe, it's usually just a sick feeling in my stomach. Could be a type of panic attack.

LOL about going to a pentecostal church. I have had to go to a similar type church because my brother belongs to it and has had his children go through their version of baptism. It's this place in Hastings called The Haven (cue the scary cult music). But the people are super nice and come up to you and introduce themselves and welcome you, etc. For me of course, it's a turn off, because I can see through it all. Most of the other people in my family can't stand this place either, and I hate that my brother goes there, but what can you do? At least he doesn't proselytize to us, and honestly I think if it weren't for his wife and her family, he wouldn't even be going there.