Coming out to my family was an accident. I was content with just ignoring my mother when she would ask each time I moved whether I had found a good church to go to.

I have a blog, http://bjornisageek.blogspot.com, for anyone who cares, and on this blog, I was tinkering around with having a web cam on it. I signed up on a site called StickAm which would put a module on my blog which would stream my web cam. I used it to see what my cats were up to while I was at work. The answer was, nothing, they just slept in different places in my apartment during the day. Anyway, my parents read my blog, and my mom clicked on the StickAm module, which led her to my StickAm profile. In my profile, I listed my religion as Atheist.

Once my mom found out, she called me while I was driving home from work, crying, she went on and on about how she's disappointed in me, how she didn't raise me this way, how my soul was in danger, and how much she wanted to see me in heaven. I tried to figure out what the big deal was. She knew I didn't go to church, and she knew I volunteer all over the place and I'm a good person. But, now, since I was an atheist, that doesn't matter. Her conversation sounded a lot like a parent upset with their kid coming out as gay, "but I didn't raise you this way, but you dated girls in high school, I'm disappointed in you." In place of "you dated girls in high school," my mother said, "but you went to confirmation." She mentioned something about not letting my father know. He's going to Luther to be a pastor.

After then, my mother wouldn't speak to me. She'd send me emails once a month with short questions which had nothing to do with me being an atheist. She told my grandmother in New Jersey who was married to a minister, and she felt it was her duty to explain how upset she was with me, and disappointed. She wondered how anyone could go through their day without talking with Jesus. I knew my family was religious, but this was getting nuts. My mom still wouldn't talk to me, until the 35W bridge fell. She thought I died, so she called frantically to make sure I was alright. Then she would talk to me again.

Since then, I've had a secular wedding, and my extended family knows we are atheists. No one had a dust up over it, but I'm sure it made for interesting conversation behind our backs, as it's my family's way.

That's almost scary to read how your family treated you when they found out. Scarier still that it took a disaster and the belief that you might be dead to break the silence. As you said, they knew you and knew that you were a good person.

So many atheists are silent about their beliefs, and I think it really hurts the situation. It allows people to believe that atheism is a "radical" belief system. In reality, "no belief" is the fastest growing belief system in America.

It was a little nuts. My mom still claims that I'm harming her by being an atheist, and she doesn't know why people are concerned about atheists being discriminated against when no one is concerned about the parents of atheists.

This made me really sad...

I have never officially 'come out' to my parents. My dad is an on again, off again atheist. He sometimes says he doesn't believe, he sometimes says he may. My mother is just kind of goofy sometimes, and I think she believes in 'something' but can't say what.

I'm pretty sure they know I am by the way I talk and things. My sister knows, and she also waivers a lot. She called once and tried to get me to go to church, but I said no. The very next day she called and said I was smart to be an atheist and that I'm right.

Your story, though, is exactly why I posted my rant about closeted atheists. I feel that more of us need to start speaking out. When people get to know us, and see we are good people, they will be less likely to judge. (Although, I'm not sure it would help all people. Aren't religious people always good for that at least, throwing their stones in their giant glass houses...)

Not everyone can come out.
I have told everyone except my little half brother and dad.

I refuse to tell my dad because his parents died about 15 years ago. The only reason he believes is because he wants to see them again and feels like they deserve better than to simple stop existing.

The reason I will not tell my brother until he is at the VERY least 17 is that he looks up to me and tries to emulate my beliefs and ideas. He is being raised by very religious people (his grandparents) and to tell him I was an atheist might pressure him to become one as well. I do not mention god or religion any time I am around him.

My mom is determined to both save my soul and not pressure me into changing my beliefs. She is bipolar manic depressant so she goes back and forth between it is your choice I respect and love you and you are a good person to you are missing the free gift of god. Mind you she gives 10% of her income to the church and she is in poverty barely able to pay for her meds.

Hi Death_MD, Good to meet you.

Everyone does have their reasons for coming out/staying in. Though, I have always felt that it is a shame to not come out because of what someone else may think. After all, your beliefs aren't going to change your dad's mind. And, though your brother may try to emulate you, but it may also be eye opening for him to know that people all have different view points when it comes to religion. If he is living with his religious grandparents, I agree it is best for him not to be rebellious and start bucking the way they are raising him. But, being an atheist isn't about being argumentative. It's about holding a rational viewpoint about the world. You may be the best one to show it to him.

Just food for thought.