I guess I failed to explain my Dad's views fully. Because he hold faith to see his loved ones, if I don't believe in heaven or hell then clearly I don't care that they are gone. I don't love them enough to want to see them again.

It isn't about changing his mind. It is about avoiding a guilt trip.

I can see that. It would be difficult to come out to a family member who had strong beliefs. I have enough problems with my family members who are back and forth!

Dearth_MD wrote:

QUOTE:
Not everyone can come out.
I have told everyone except my little half brother and dad.

I refuse to tell my dad because his parents died about 15 years ago. The only reason he believes is because he wants to see them again and feels like they deserve better than to simple stop existing.

The reason I will not tell my brother until he is at the VERY least 17 is that he looks up to me and tries to emulate my beliefs and ideas. He is being raised by very religious people (his grandparents) and to tell him I was an atheist might pressure him to become one as well. I do not mention god or religion any time I am around him.

My mom is determined to both save my soul and not pressure me into changing my beliefs. She is bipolar manic depressant so she goes back and forth between it is your choice I respect and love you and you are a good person to you are missing the free gift of god. Mind you she gives 10% of her income to the church and she is in poverty barely able to pay for her meds.

Your believing or not does not obligate your father to believe as you do, nor does it negate his beliefs about meeting up with his parents later. My parents have died too. Does that mean I don't honor their memory if I believe that they no longer exist?

How would your little brother be harmed by knowing that not everyone holds the same religious beliefs, even within the same family? When I was young I read a book that had a moment where two women kissed "full on the mouth". The passage shocked me, not because of what they did, but because it had never occurred to me that that was an option for anyone. The same holds true of the "no belief" option to many people. I'm not saying that you should inject the subject of your disbelief into every conversation, but isn't the most honorable course of action the honest one, if the subject does come up?

It's kind of you to want to be mindful of everyone's feelings, but in the long run their emotional state is their own responsibility.

Bjorn - I had a very similar coming out to my paternal grandparents, who are VERY Baptist. My father was showing my grandmother my myspace page (why??), and I listed "Atheist" as my religion. Apparently she almost had a heart attack. Interestingly, she hasn't mentioned it since then. As for my father, a man with a masters degree in religion and philosophy, all he said was "You're not an atheist. You're agnostic.". I told him we'd just have to agree to disagree on my personal religious beliefs.
I hope your mom can find it in her heart to accept you as you are. Don't stop trying to contact her! You might regret it later if you don't do all you can to heal this rift.

Thanks for sharing your story! My mom did contact me again, when the 35W bridge collapsed and I didn't answer my phone right away. I usually took that road home, but was home sick that day and was safely asleep as the concrete and steel fell. The fear of my death was greater than the fear of talking with me. Since then, my mom doesn't really talk to me about religion. She just thinks that thinking nothing happens after you die is depressing.

My mother is very Catholic, and over the years I have gradually expressed my views about god and she knows I do not believe. I stopped going to church, which upset her greatly, but she's over it now.

She goes to church every morning and struggles to make herself a better person. I never disparage her beliefs, though sometimes I do say things that express how I feel on the subject, but never in a way that would hurt her or disrespect her beliefs. She still occasionally says things that try to get me to believe again... like telling me a story about how someone she knows was cured of an illness mysteriously and to which she and others attribute to godly intervention, but I usually just nod and say, "that's nice."

What's wonderful about her is that she often tells people that I'm the most Christian like person she knows. So, I do believe that we atheists should simply gain respect by our actions and the way we live.

Sometimes I feel badly because I think that she is becoming more skeptical about the existence of god because of me, and for whatever reason, I don't want that to happen.