Is it really true that no two snowflakes are alike?
Lenny Oberg
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Feb 08 2008
In view of the fact that it's been snowing here in Kanazawa, Japan off and on for the last month and, as a lot of you have pointed out, that I have a lot of time on my hands, I have decided to look into the so called scientific fact that no two snowflakes are alike.
It all started 3 days ago when I was walking down the street going to the local grocery store to get some toilet paper (10 roll pack, Double ply, softly lilac scented) when a lone snowflake landed on my right hand glove. I looked at it briefly and then brushed it off. Then today, while I was going back to the same grocery store to get some more toilet paper (Don't ask me where it all went!) another snowflake landed, this time on my left hand glove. I was about to brush this one off as well when it suddenly occurred to me. "Hey, I've seen this one before." Since I am a Skeptic and do not believe in anything "Super Natural" and have listened to every Podcast on "Minnesota Atheists," I was flabbergasted when I discovered that there are, in fact, two snowflakes that are alike. So I have invented a new pseudoscience to investigate this phenomenon.
Cryptosnowflakeoology
Cryptosnowflakeoology: (from Greek: kryptós, "hidden";SnowtosFlakeus, "white stuff"; and logos, "knowledge" or "study"- Literally: "The study of Hidden Snow Flakes.)
Those involved in Cryptosnowflakeoological study are known as Cryptosnowflakeoologists.
The Leading Foundation in the world for the study of Cryptosnowflakeoology is a non-profit (only because nobody will give any money) organization called "Snowflake Theoretical Design" or STD for short.
STD
The sole purpose of STD is to prove once in for all if there are indeed two snowflakes that are alike.
At the present time I am the only member, and since I'm the founder, my official title from this moment on, will be "Flake-One."
Obviously I do not have the original snowflakes, so I had the artist who drew the most authentic rendering of an Alien that I've even seen (Fig. #1), draw the two snowflakes (Fig. #2 and Fig. #3) from information I relayed to him via numerous Emails.
Figure 1
As one can plainly see the resemblance on the two snowflakes is uncanny.
Figure 2___Figure 3
Note: Drawings might not be to scale
The two so called leading Theories for Snowflakes are "The Assumption of Elevation" and "Imaginative Design."
The Assumption of Elevation:
This Theory postulates that a long time ago, someplace really high up in the sky, there was a "Little bang" and all the water needed to create an infinite amount of snowflakes was created instantaneously out of nothing. Slowly over time this water created "droplets" and due to their high elevation, eventually froze and fashioned the first primordial "Sphere" and over time complex geometrical shapes evolved into the spectacular snowflakes that we see today.
Imaginative Design:
Proponents of "Imaginative Design" are quick to point out that "The Assumption of Elevation" is only a theory, and is not a fact. They argue that the structure of a single snowflake is so complex that it would be impossible and highly improbable that it could have "Evolved" all on its own, and must have been created by a very "Imaginative Designer." When they are asked "Who Designed the Designer?" They say the "She" has been there all along and let it go at that.
I now put forth STD’s official Theory of Snowflakes: This came to me while I was taking a nap on the living room floor, after scratching my head for 47 minutes to get the loose dandruff out and watching it drift slowing to the floor. I think it's Divine.
Snowball:
In the beginning there was the "Snow" and it was good. Then "Snow" said "Let us make a Snowflake in our image." and so "Snow" made Snowflake#1 and it was good, then "Snow" made everything else in 7 minutes. One day "Snow" asked snowflake#1 if there was anything that it wanted. Snowflake#1 replied that there was a lot of rain, hail, and smog floating around the sky but not one other snowflake, so "Snow" broke off one of snowflakes#1 little arms. "Ouch! I wish you'd stop doing that and ask my permission next time." "Snow" blew on the detached snowflake arm and presto there was another Snowflake almost but not entirely just like the original Snowflake and it was... not bad. Then "Snow" said, Go out and proliferate, cause blizzards, and cover everything that you come in contact with, and that's exactly what Snowflake#1 and Snowflake#2 have been doing as long as I can remember.
Now some of you are saying, "Yes, that’s a nice story but it's just another Snowflake myth, and there is absolutely no proof that that actually happened." Or is there? This would explain why no two snowflakes are the same as they are all made from the arms of other snowflakes and since the first two snowflakes were not identical therefore all additional snowflake would have to be different. This is called "Loop reasoning" and can be used to prove just about anything.
"Wait a minute Lenny, you just pointed out that you found two matching snowflakes, doesn’t that go against your theory?"
No, this just proves my other theory that the Government is controlling the weather by clandestinely "seeding" the clouds with snowflake clones.
The Government is in the "pocket" of the big corporate clothing manufactures that want to extend winter so more people will have to buy addition clothing to keep warm. You want proof? Just look at the importation of cheap "Chinese" jackets; it's at an all time high.
Snowflake Clones? There's no such thing. Lenny you are out of you mind… Am I? Have you even been to Aspen or one of those other major "governmental controlled" ski resorts? They all have "Snow making machines" Need I say more? Now who’s the fool?
Flake-One signing off
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